


Let Me Go

by Catheryne (bettythetl)



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Impermanent Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-06
Updated: 2006-03-06
Packaged: 2017-10-23 11:22:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/249769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bettythetl/pseuds/Catheryne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-NFA. Spike survives to Shanshu but is plagued by the memory of a love he lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Me Go

**Author's Note:**

> The song included is my own creation, and it goes by the same title as the story.

It had been almost a year since the battle against the Senor Partners and Spike had Shanshu’d after he’d saved his Sire. Angel had been attacked from behind and Spike pushed him out of the way so that he wouldn’t get hurt. Instead, Spike took the brunt of the attack and the backs of his knees and his wrists were slashed open, blood pouring out in abundance. Angel had tried to get Spike to drink from him but Spike had refused because the older vampire had lost so much blood already. Before he closed his eyes for the final time, the blonde whispered, “I love you, Sire…”

Angel had looked down at his boy as he died and his eyes slowly filled with tears. He’d gotten his boy killed. He wasn’t going to come back from this because of the lack of a talisman. Raising his head to the skies, he howled, the animalistic sound ripping through the air and causing anyone who heard it to shudder as if caught in a cold wind. Screaming in frustration, he cried to the Powers, “Is this what you wanted?! You wanted him to die so that I might live to keep doing your bidding like a good little puppet? Too fucking bad! You’ve gone too far this time!”

As Angel gently leaned down to press a kiss to his fallen lover’s lips, a demon he hadn’t noticed that had survived shoved a wooden pike through his heart and an instant later, he was nothing but dust. Spike woke up just in time to see his Sire die and a strangled sound escaped his mouth as he breathed in his first human breath in nearly two hundred years. “Angel!” he cried out, voice full of pain as he buried his face in his hands and sobbed, his body shaking with the force of them.

That had been nearly a year ago. About a week after he’d found the old Hyperion still intact and bought it, he’d decided that it was time to move on, even though it pained him to try. Angel would’ve wanted that. So, Spike got a job under the name William Radcliffe at a local bar as a singer and bartender. He hadn’t sung in a week because he’d gotten a slight case of laryngitis (Oh, the perks of being a human) and now he was set to do it again. Climbing up on stage, Will, as he was known now, looked about at the crowd and smiled gently at a little redheaded teenager in the front row. He had never sung a song to the memory of Angel but he felt as if he was ready now and his little friend, Red, as he called her had come to offer him some support.

Taking a deep breath, Will said, “Nearly all of you know this, but I’ll say it again anyway. About a year ago, a very good friend of mine, Angel, and I were trying to stop some people and he was attacked from behind. I tried to stop him from getting hurt and I almost succeeded. He..” Will’s voice choked up and he cleared his throat amid the sympathetic stares of his audience as he continued, “He didn’t make it. I was knocked out, kinda, and I woke up just in time to see someone push a sword through his heart. He died even as he held me safe. I just…I really miss him and so…I wrote a song for him and…well, here goes.”

And then he began to sing. Slowly, Spike’s voice grew in volume and steadiness, broken now and again by a soft quiver that only a vampire could hear, should they listen hard enough. Or someone that knew him well enough to notice anything and everything about him. And listen Liam did. Letting the emotions wash over him, he listened to the words edged with pain tumbling from his boy’s lips.

 _I’d watched you from the shadows,  
Watched you for so long.  
You couldn’t see me hiding there,  
Watching in despair.  
I saw you moving on,  
Even when I'd thought  
That you were gone._

 _You’d let me go and  
I thought that it was me.  
You saw your pain  
and just walked away  
Said that it would save me.  
Just wound up breaking me._

 _I tried to stop you,  
But now I can see,  
You and I can never be.  
I only ask you tell me  
What to do.  
I’ve tried to get away  
Just to face the world._

 _You’d let me go and  
I thought that it was me.  
You saw your pain  
and just walked away  
Said that it would save me.  
Just wound up breaking me._

 _For what I’ve done,  
Forgive me please.  
I love you still,  
And always will.  
I missed you then  
And I beg you now,  
Please, just let.me.go._

As Spike’s voice died, he ducked his head to hide his tears. So great was his pain he didn’t hear the cheering. So great was his pain he didn’t hear his ex-Sire come up on the stage. He only felt him when the dark haired man came up behind him and wrapped his arms about his waist. Stiffening, Will prepared to flip the person behind him over his back when he heard his voice, “Shh, Will. It’s only me.”

Will’s eyes widened and he turned around, looking up into the face of his now human ex-lover. When Angel had been staked back in the alley, the Powers didn’t want either of their champions having to live or die without each other so, even though Angel had signed away his right to the Shanshu, he had been granted the right to once more become human. He had to, however wait 11 months and 29 days before he could be told the location of his Will. He’d come to this bar in search of anyone who’d heard of him and had been pleasantly surprised as he watched his boy from the shadows to realize that he’d found him.

“Angel?” he whispered, unaware of the crowd watching the exchange between the two young men and only Elizabeth knew that it was Angel. The dark haired man nodded gently and Will wrapped his arms around his neck before standing up on tip toe to press their lips together. Liam pulled Will closer to him, deepening their kiss and holding the quaking body in his arms steady so he didn’t fall. When he pulled back, they were near to the microphone, though Will didn’t know it and he whispered in wonder, “Angel…I thought I’d lost you…”

To which the other man replied, “You’ll never lose me, love. And I’ll never let you go.”

The crowd surrounding them gave startled gasps before breaking out into applause and cheers. Their depressed and handsome friend had finally found his reason to go on. He just hoped that the plea that he’d made in the song wouldn’t happen now that his Angel was back with him.

Then, Will heard the cheers. His eyes widening again, the younger of the two blushed furiously and buried his face in his lover’s chest even as he felt it rumble as a chuckle escaped from it. Will pushed him away to sit at the back of the room so he could finish his shift and then the two would head to the Hyperion. Will smiled as he started to sing another song, making it up using the acoustic under his hands even as he watched his smile being returned to him from a dark eyed Irishman at the back of the room.

 **_Fin_ **


End file.
